worst feelings.

Every second of every minute since yesterday my heart drops & it stays there for a while. Then once i think about you, it drops again. Why does life give you the worst feelings? but then again it gives you the best. When everything is going good something bad happens. Then after one bad incident, another one follows. The constant struggle to forget has to be the hardest but also trying to move on could be one of the hardest too.

Dear Alex, you're probably not going to read this because no one reads my blogs. I like it when no one reads it because I get time to myself for a little bit. But anyways. I know you're probably leaning towards the end of our relationship and I know I won't accept it. How could i accept it? I, Aileen, am in total love with you. I tried my best to keep my temper to a minimum but I guess thats my greatest struggle that I'm trying to defeat but the thing is, you won't accept or agree too help me anymore. You gave up on me & you gave up on us, but how could I blame you? You've dealt with more than I ever had. I lost my own battle. I lost the battle to win your heart & patience back, again. But its a shame for me, I tried. I really did try. People noticed it too and that is some thing I'm proud of for myself. But I'm sorry it wasn't enough for you. I know you're not happy with me & you never seem happy with me so on Saturday if this really does end, I guess its our times to move on & start new. But best of friends I hope we can be. I'm going to call you every night still & text you all the time. I'm still going to go to your house like everyday because it's already part of my nature. You are part of my nature and I don't want to let go. I will never forget my first true & loving relationship. I'm sorry if I'm taking this over the top but this is just what I want to say because I can't keep it in. It's sad how I constantly kept telling Jenny how I miss you and how i don't like that this is happening. I hate how I can't help my self. But Thank you for everything. You being my boyfriend is one of the greatest learning and loving experience I have ever had. My mind is becoming blank because tears are filling up my brain and eyes but you taught me to have some stronger emotions in my life & I taught you how to be stronger. And you are. Well goodnight dear, i love you & MUWAHHH .

&♥;AD.